Couple choosing the right program together

How to Choose the Right Couples Program: Therapy vs. Retreats vs. Peer Forums vs. Apps

April 16, 2026 By In It Together 12 min read

There are more options for couples who want to invest in their relationship than ever before. The challenge isn't finding something — it's figuring out which one fits. Carrie and I have tried nearly all of them.

Option 1: Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy

Best for:

Specific clinical issues — communication breakdowns, infidelity, trauma.

Cost:

$150-$400/session ($600-$1,600/mo for weekly).

Strengths:

Deep personalized attention, evidence-based modalities, private.

Limitations:

Expensive, no peer community, therapist-dependent, problem-focused.

Research:

Gottman Method effective for distressed couples, but ~25-30% relapse within 2 years due to lack of ongoing support.

Option 2: Couples Retreats and Workshops

Couples Retreats and Workshops

Best for:

Concentrated learning and reconnection. Great as a reset.

Cost:

$500-$5,000 for a weekend.

Strengths:

Immersive, learn a lot fast, shared experience.

Limitations:

"Retreat high" fades without follow-up. No ongoing accountability.

Research:

Gottman workshop shows 94% improvement rate, but long-term maintenance requires follow-up practices.

Option 3: Couples Peer Forums

Couples Peer Forums

Best for:

Growth-minded couples wanting ongoing community and accountability.

Cost:

$200-$500/month for both partners.

Strengths:

Ongoing, peer accountability, community, facilitated with research frameworks.

Limitations:

Requires vulnerability with others. Not a therapy replacement.

Research:

Peer support models extensively validated (Vistage members report 2.2x revenue growth in their businesses).

Option 4: Relationship Apps

Relationship Apps

Best for:

Low-commitment daily touchpoint, early-stage relationship building.

Cost:

$5-$15/month.

Strengths:

Accessible, affordable, daily micro-habits.

Limitations:

No human facilitation, easy to abandon, can't handle complexity.

Research:

Early studies show short-term improvement but sustained engagement remains a challenge.

How to Choose: A Decision Framework

Here's a simple decision tree:

Best answer: Combine them.

We've done therapy, retreats, a peer forum, and used apps. They each filled a different need at different times. When we were in crisis, therapy was essential. When we wanted to build a foundation, a retreat helped. For ongoing growth and accountability, the peer forum transformed everything.

The Peer Forum Advantage for Growth-Minded Couples

Here's what separates a peer forum from the other options:

When to Start, When to Upgrade

If you're early in your relationship journey and haven't done intentional work on your marriage, I'd start with a retreat or workshop. Get the foundational knowledge quickly.

If you've done therapy or retreats and you're ready to deepen your practice with ongoing accountability, a peer forum is the natural next step.

If you're in crisis, therapy is non-negotiable. A peer forum is not a therapy replacement, and trying to use it that way will frustrate everyone.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What's the single most effective couples program?

It depends. For crisis: therapy. For ongoing growth: peer forum. For quick foundation: retreat. For daily habits: app.

Q: Can a peer forum replace therapy?

No. Forums complement therapy. If clinical issues are present, work with a licensed therapist.

Q: How do I know if we need therapy or a peer forum?

"How do we fix this?" → therapy. "How do we keep growing?" → peer forum.

Q: Are online couples programs effective?

Research is mixed but improving. Video-based with live facilitation tends to be more effective than self-guided.

Q: What makes In It Together different?

Three things — the peer forum model from CEO peer groups, three evidence-based frameworks (Gottman, Enneagram, Love Languages), and the focus on ambitious entrepreneur couples.

About the Author

In It Together was founded by Dave and Carrie Kerpen to bring the CEO peer forum model to ambitious couples. Dave is the founder of Likeable Media, an Inc. 500 company, and author of "Likeable Business." The couple has been featured in Entrepreneur, Forbes, and the Wall Street Journal.

Ready to Invest in Your Relationship?

Start with a couples peer forum — ongoing growth with real people who understand your world.

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